14 March 2006

New Spartanism

By

Crap Supermarkets ∕ Sick Buildings

What could be worse than Plus on a Friday evening? Simple: Plus on a Tuesday morning.
A trip out to purchase a bag of leading brand dried cat food turned into a three-shop-trek in the snow this morning since Plus obviously haven’t restocked since at least Saturday, when there was no cat food on sale either.
I was forced to look further afield in the even more cramped Drospa where, it turned out, the cat food I was looking for is sold in special micro-bags designed to last for roughly two and a half cat meals. I declined this offer and slummed it out at Kaiser’s where – hidden helpfully behind a structural column – the same sized bags were on offer.
Obviously a fiercley localised cat food embargo has been inforced by the Kaiser’s Tengelman Group, for reasons unknown.

Plus
Radical restocking policy

A swift puruse of Plus’ shelves this morning led me to seriously consider whether or not the local population might have gotton wind of some imposing natural disaster, and have been savagely hoarding since the end of last week. Skyscraper-high tidal waves and supersonic winds have yet to materialise, leading me to less spectacular conclusions: regional managers asleep at their clipboards across the state.