Slab Mag
Phantom Narratives of the Built Environment

We were thinking about praising semi-crap supermarket chain Kaiser’s, for being substantially less crap than usual for having opened a shiny new store on Bergmannstraße; a store which seems not only to have understand the notion of consumer choice, but even has aisles wide enough to turn around in. This would have been architectural discourse.

But 6 days ago – on the 4th of September to be precise – we saw this:

Christ died to save us from marzipan in September

Architecture can do little to compensate for the sub-molluscan cretinousness and sheer imbecilic insensitivity of those responsible for ordering Christmas goods at the end of August.

We beg forgiveness for the unorthodox turn of phrase, but: fuck you all, you dipstick bunch of moronic fat-heads. Go shove your clipboards where the sun doesn’t shine.

Location: Berlin – Germany